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Find Your Willpower

If you want to change you have to be willing to be uncomfortable. Stop putting off what needs to be done today until tomorrow. Start today. Plan, make a schedule, take notes and gather information. Stop making excuses. Do better, be better.

I have so many people in my life that need to hear this. Whether it’s pertaining to a professional, health, diet/exercise or emotional challenge, this applies to them all. If you know your relationship is broken, take the steps to fix it. (It won’t fix itself). If you have open wounds from a past experience go to therapy. Get help… there’s a way to fix it but you can’t let fear hold you back. If you’re over weight and you feel terrible because of a junky diet, make a change. I see all these people in different phases of wishing, hoping and wanting to but not actually doing anything to get there. Stop obsessing over the possibility of failure and fake it till you make it. Don’t let fear hold you back.

Whenever you go into a new venture with self doubt you are predisposing yourself to failure. You don’t just find strength or willpower, you have to create it. Once you create that ounce of willpower you must train it. It’s like a muscle and the more you utilize it the stronger it gets. I hate hearing statements like, “I wish I could get that position” or “I hope I can stick with this diet and lose x amount of weight.” Wake up ladies and gents! You’re squashing any chance at success before that flower can ever blossom.

Speak into existence the changes that you want to make.

“I am losing the weight.”

“I am quitting smoking.”

“I am getting that job.”

Personally, I like to keep a list of short term goals for myself. This may seem trivial but for me, focusing on the here and now and reaching those small goals are the building blocks to my 5 and 10 year goals.

The reason I do this is for instant gratification. It’s my loophole around the traditional willpower path. Traditionally, Willpower is forgoing impulses and instant gratification for the long term reward or goals. I look at my goal list and I can say, ” I got all this done this week” and then I feel good about myself. Did I lose 20 lbs this week? Nope. Did I become an award winning children’s book author? Not even close…But I got everything on the list done this week! This way I don’t get discouraged but I’m still working towards those larger goals. This “healthy” version of instant gratification is a stepping stone to my long term satisfaction and success. I suggest trying it. It might be a good trick for you too.

The bottom line is like what Henry Ford said. Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right. Whatever it is that you’ve been putting off or struggling with, you can do it. Will it be easy? Probably not, but it will be worth it. Absolutely, Good luck my friend.

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Dark Chocolate Chip Cookies

These aren’t necessarily Keto friendly but they’re definitely lower carb than you’re traditional sugar filled chocolate chip cookies.

They are dense and filling but just sweet enough to curb the craving. This has been my favorite cookie recipe… I’ve tried others that all I could taste was stevia. Check it out below:

3 Cups of Almond Flour

1 Tsp Baking Soda

1/2 Tsp Sea Salt

1/4 Cup Coconut Oil (melted)

1/4 Cup Sugar Free Maple Syrup

1 Whole egg

2 Egg Whites

1 Tsp Vanilla Extract

1 Cup Dark Chocolate Chips

In one bowl combine flour, baking soda and sea salt. Set aside.

In another bowl use a mixer to combine melted coconut oil and and the maple syrup until creamy.

Add the whole egg, then add the two egg whites and the vanilla extract. Mix until fully incorporated. Preheat oven to 375 degrees and spray a baking sheet with nonstick spray.

Slowly add dry ingredients to the bowl and beat with the mixer while adding. Once complete add the cup of chocolate chips by using a spoon and stirring them in.

I make each cookie the spoon size and the recipe yields 30 cookies. The cookies come out to be 4 carbs per cookie. So you can’t go hog wild with them.

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The Blacksheep

We all have one in the family. The person that doesn’t quite follow the rules. The one you hate to love. The same person that you complain about constantly but anyone else better not say a word against them. For me that person was my middle brother, Jason Brown. We fought like cats and dogs and went together like oil and water. You know that old saying “you never know what you got until it’s gone.” Well I can tell you first hand it’s true, and it hurts like hell when it’s gone.

Let’s start from the beginning. He was born in Louisiana at the Caldwell parish hospital on September 14, 1982. Dad paid cash for him. Mom said he was an easy birth but oh was he a curve ball in the making. They named his Darrel Jason Brown. He went by Jason. He was a curious and disobedient child. Getting switched and whipped near daily. Somehow mom always had a big soft spot for him, no matter how rotten he was. He was a terrible listener, wouldn’t follow instructions. When he started school they learned that he was deaf in his left ear. Dad sure felt bad about a few of them whippings after that.

I was born in eighty nine. Maybe he was sweet those first few years but if so I don’t remember them. I feel like the worst age gap you can put between children is 7-8 years. He was 14 and I was 7. I just wanted to do what he was doing, he didn’t want little sister cramping his style. If he didn’t accomplish anything else in life, he did a fine job of toughening me up for life. Despite black cats down my shirt, being left in a thicket of saw briers, my shoes stolen and forced to walk home on the ice in 97′, being ran over by a bike cause I was dumb enough to “let him jump me” I somehow survived my unruly childhood with Jason Brown. I could go on for days about the tricks he played on me. He got plenty of beatings for them too, he didn’t care though. He had no quit in him back in those days.

By the time I was 12 and he was 19 we got along much better. He was more mature and could handle my annoyances better. We spent many a summer day in a little hole on Sam Rayburn lake. We camped, we fished, we ran trot lines. We filled the freezer together, all out of an old flat bottom boat. He took me hunting more than any other person growing up. He taught me to shoot. He sure got a kick out of me firing off that heavy 12 gauge for the first time. I was around 11, all knees and elbows, it knocked me on my butt. He taught me to drive on the backroads by the lake, heading down to Parker’s point, our family camping spot. I also bulldozed a mailbox in that old truck one time. It was primered grey, with a little blue, and rust spots here and there. It was an 82′ Ford I believe. It was a standard with dusty old floorboards, the kind that stirs up when you’re going down the highway with the windows down cause you don’t have a fancy AC.

The older I got the less we fought and the more we bickered. He was the only man I’ve ever punched in the face though. He helped me buy my first truck. It was from an older gentleman he was doing some work for. He was able to get a great deal on it. Between the money I had saved and his great job of haggling the old man, I got the keys to my first truck. Later on, I let him borrow it and he wrecked it of course… he didn’t tell me he slid the passenger side down a guard rail so after school the following day I thought someone had hit it in the parking lot. He never fessed up until I overheard him on the phone talking to someone about it. I nearly killed him.

Somewhere along the way, he fell in with the wrong crowd. He was always more of a follower than a leader. He’d stand up for himself and anyone he cared about when put to the test but in general he just went with the flow. By 23 he was hooked on prescription drugs. He could literally chew Lorcet and wash it down with a Dr. Pepper. Through his addiction I became aware of many painkillers and narcotics. Norcos, Vicodin, Xanax, OxyContin and eventually Suboxone strips were his drugs of choice. I tried a few times to get him off of them but the detox process for pills is a very painful experience and ultimately if you don’t have the grit and “want to” then you’re not going to leave them behind. He was still a great guy but they took a huge chunk of him away from us before he ever died. He ran with a bad crowd. People that mostly used him for rides. Underneath the fog he was still a man that would give anyone the shirt off his back. His dependability and moral compass wavered from time to time. Pills have a way of justifying things that you think you’d never do. What’s a few bucks from moms purse here and there. I’ll only take a few from dads medication sort of thing. All the blame wasn’t just on him though. My parents were chronic enablers. They just couldn’t let him sit in jail or on the streets. I couldn’t understand it back then but now that I have kids of my own I can see how hard that could be.

He’d have good days and bad days. Most of the time he seemed normal and not impaired. Towards the end of his life it was mostly Suboxone strips which are prescribed to help get you off of pain killers. He got to the point where he knew just how much to take to keep the pain away. Maybe if he’d lived long enough he’d have eventually weened himself down. Unfortunately that never happened.

On April 12th, 2014 my husband received a call from a close friend telling him there had been a wreck and the car looked like my brothers. We’d bought the car for him a couple of months earlier. It was a beautiful spring day, not a cloud in the sky. We were outside playing with my daughter when he got that call. We jumped in the truck and drove out towards my parents house, towards a wreck. My husband went ahead to the wreckage to gain some insight on what was happening. He made me stay in the truck. I prayed harder than I ever have before. Please Lord let it not be him and if it is him let him live. A head on collision killed my brother. When we got there they’d only just pulled him from the wreckage and had a sheet over him. The highway patrol and my husbands bleary eyes said it all. He was gone, just like that. Luckily, the men he hit were in a truck and fairly unscathed. I took on the job of notifying my parents. I thought it’d be a little easier coming from me than from a stranger. No harder words were ever spoken. We detoured around the wreck and drove the few more miles to my parents house. We pulled up and they met me on the front porch, their faces heavy with worry. I said, ” he’s gone, he’s dead, I’m sorry momma.” I hugged them both as they broke down. It’s a hard thing to lose a brother and be the one to inform your parents. On the other hand, I imagine it’s much harder to receive the news of your child’s death, regardless of who it’s coming from.

My parents were devastated. They could barely function. I planned his funeral and gave a brief eulogy, by gods grace I made it through it without breaking down. I bought him new clothes and the most beautiful casket spread of wildflowers that I’ve ever seen. Wildflowers, wild just like he was. The toxicology report from the morgue found that he wasn’t impaired. We don’t don’t know what caused the wreck but we know that he saw it coming. His hands were clenched like they were gripping the steering wheel. I placed a bible in his hands so no one would notice. The men he hit said it looked like he was trying to regain control over the vehicle. He was cremated and later on, his remains were buried with my mother when she passed.

I don’t have many regrets when it comes to my brother. I was hard on him because I knew the potential he held and I didn’t want him to waste it. The only thing I wish I could fit in is one more fishing trip with him, and that my girls could grow up with one more uncle. If you are or know someone struggling with an addiction, get help. Don’t enable them but help them however you can.

The national helpline for substance abuse is 1-800-662-HELP. I hope this helps someone.

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Simple Pork Chops and Veggies

If your family is like mine, you don’t always have a ton of time to plan out a four course gourmet meal, then this recipe is for you. The great thing about pork chops is that they go on sale often. I buy them when they are on sale in the family packs with around 10 chops included. I usually cook 4 the week I get them and vacuum seal the other six in pairs. This way I can thaw out just what we need at a later date.

The most common mistake I see is that people too often over cook their pork chops. This leads to dry, tough meat. The trick is to keep the skillet at a medium heat. Pan fry them for a few minutes on each side. Once there are no pink juices leaving the meat pull them off and pile them in a serving plate.

I usually pair my pork chops with broccoli and cauliflower. You only need a few ingredients for this delicious, filling meal. The recipe for both is below.

Ingredients:

Bone in pork chops

Tony’s Creole seasoning

Olive oil

1 crown of broccoli

1/2 head of cauliflower

3 Tbs of real butter (I prefer Kerry Gold)

Garlic Salt

Directions:

Add 3-4 Tbs of Olive oil to a large skillet. You want it to almost cover the bottom of the pan. Set the heat to medium. Rinse your chops and sprinkle with Tony’s creole seasoning. Cook two chops at a time or one more if the skillet has the space, mine usually doesn’t.

Meanwhile, wash and chop the broccoli and cauliflower. Add 3 Tbs of butter to a medium sized pot. Add the chopped broccoli and cauliflower, then pour in 4 Tbs of water (just enough to help them steam a little). Sprinkle with garlic salt and cover. Cook on low to medium heat until desired tenderness.

By now you should have flipped your pork chops over and once juices are clear from the pork it’s time to pull them off.

Make your plates and enjoy!

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The Microtian

In August of 2012 my husband and I became pregnant with our first daughter. We were overjoyed. My pregnancy was a little less than pleasant between nausea and vomiting for months on end. I eventually was prescribed ondansetron and luckily it helped. At 28 weeks I failed the gestational diabetes test by a few points but failed nonetheless. From then to term I kept a strict low carb diet. I followed every rule to ensure I had a healthy happy baby girl in May.

At our last ultrasound appointment they noticed her kidneys were measuring a little small so my doctor informed me that we’d measure them again once she was born to double check them. I didn’t think much of it.

I went into labor May 4th around 6 am but my contractions weren’t steady so we went on about our day. Around 10 pm we went to the hospital and I was dilated to a 6. Unfortunately when they broke my water things slowed down tremendously. They pumped me full of Pitocin and although the contractions got stronger I still wasn’t dilating past a 6. I caved and asked for the epidural at 3:00 am. I finally had Ollie at 9:30 am on May 5th.

She was beautiful, she had a great complexion with the longest, darkest eyelashes framing the deepest brown eyes I’d ever seen. Michael noticed pretty quickly that something wasn’t quite normal about her left ear. Well it turns out that she was born with a congenital birth defect know as Microtia/Atresia. I know, I’d never heard of it either.

I nursed her and we all got to visit. We took pictures and such for about an hour before they wisked her off for testing and the ultrasound to measure her kidneys. Apparently the kidneys and ears form around the same time in uterero. Luckily her kidneys were perfect. I’ll take fully functioning kidneys over a measly ear any day. They don’t really know what exactly causes microtia, sometimes it can be linked with genetics and you’ll see several people in the same family with microtia, other times doctors theorize that something like a virus or illness in the mother could have slowed production during that part of the development.

Michael nor I have ever had anyone in our family with microtia which leads us to believe it could have possibly happened at a time early on in my pregnancy when I was so sick I had to go to urgent care… I attributed it to morning sickness but looking back I think I may have a had a virus. I’m far from an expert and no matter what you believe, I like to believe that god is a master engineer so when the body was given x amount of energy it was programmed to develop the kidneys over the ear.

It can be a scary thing but you get through it. The what if’s and the not knowing are the worst part. Like most microtia babies it was completely unexpected for us. Being a new mom on its own is scary enough but nowadays we don’t even notice it. She’s seen several ENT’s and audiologists. She even has a snazzy hearing aid called a BAHA which she rarely chooses to wear. The acronym stands for Bone Anchored hearing aid. Hers is a soft band though. She hasn’t undergone any surgeries related to microtia or atresia, nor will she unless she chooses it for herself.

The only thing I’ve learned from this journey is that as a parent dealing with these type of issues is that if you don’t make it a big deal then it won’t be a big deal. She’s just as normal as any other kid. She wants to play her days away and make lots of friends.

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Take The Trip!

One of my favorite things to do is travel. I don’t know why so many of us let everyday life get in the way of seeing the world. After all, we are only here for a little while so why not take in every sight that we can. Nowadays there really isn’t a reason to skip the travel. Rates are so competitive that if you’re willing to put in the leg work and be flexible with your accommodations you really can have a yearly vacation.

Don’t be afraid to venture out of the norm. My husband and I now book almost exclusively with AirBnB instead of a hotel. We save so much money this way. Most Americans are used to having everything handled for them. You pick your bundle resort and flight package and they handle all transportation, food and beverages. While this can be nice for the person that wants to veg out on a beach for 5 days it can be costly and isn’t my preference at all. I want to see what makes the place I’m visiting unique. I want to be engulfed in their culture. I want to enjoy the local food, festivities and night life.

I remember in Tulum last year, we were talking to some guys on our fishing expedition about our trip so far and they were saying how they enjoyed it but it was so expensive… you should have seen the look in his face when we told him our entire trip cost us under 2k. That’s flights, lodging, rental car, fishing expedition, snorkeling and a private Chichen Itza tour. We spent an additional 500 while in country on gas, food and souvenirs.

So my tip for this Friday is save the money, buy the ticket, take the trip, you won’t regret it.

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Moms Chicken Tacos

This is one of those recipes that remind me of home. It’s not necessarily a quick recipe but it is delicious. My mother made it for years with regular flour tortillas and the pre packaged taco seasoning but since I have changed my way of eating, I have modified it to a low carb recipe! Don’t worry I’ll include both versions below. Click Here for the Keto Taco Seasoning recipe!

Ingredients:

Whole Chicken

2 packages of Taco seasoning

1 lb of shredded cheese

16-20 fajita sized flour tortillas or the whole wheat low carb tortillas

Directions:

Skin, boil and debone Chicken. I usually shred mine a little by using two forks. Mix two cups of the chicken broth from the boil with the taco seasoning.

Place chicken in a medium sized pot, add taco seasoning broth mixture. Bring to a boil, cover and reduce heat to a simmer. Cook down until most of the liquid is gone. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cut about 16 squares of tin foil and place a tortilla on the top of each foil piece. Now add the chicken and cheese to the desired amount. Fold taco and wrap in tin foil, place on a baking sheet.

Once all tacos are made place baking sheet in oven for 15 minutes.

Enjoy! P.S. This heats up great for lunch and leftovers… it is a great meal prep option for the week boasting just 3 net carbs per taco.

Tip: Some people like these with picante sauce or tabasco.

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A Broken Union

My husband and I were married on November the 20th of 2010. We were 20 and 21 and had dated for a short 8 months. For most people that sounds crazy. I’ve known Michael since junior high, he was in and out of our town because his parents were divorced and his mom moved around a lot.

It was a sunny Spring break day. I was laying out by the river in San Marcos Texas. I didn’t have plans and pretty much everyone had left town for the week. Scrolling through my list of contacts I realized I had Michaels number from running into him at a house party when I’d come home the fall before. It was an innocent number exchange because at the time we were both dating other people. Fast forward about 6 months and we both happened to be single.

It all started with a text. Something like how have you been doing? The conversation led to me taking a spur of the moment 4.5 hour drive to come hang out with him. I thought, why not, I didn’t have anything better to do, plus I could drop in on my folks while I was town. Who’d have thought that nearly 8 years later we’d be wed for 7 years and have two beautiful daughters together. That’s how those things seem to happen though. When you’re not looking for Love is when it finds you. When we got married we had some counsel with the pastor. He recommended we read The 5 Love Languages. I quickly read the book, eager to please my soon to be husband. Unfortunately he felt that he didn’t need a book to teach him anything about marriage.

While I love Michael very much we don’t always see eye to eye. We argue a balanced amount and rarely do things get heated to the point of yelling. Nevertheless, sometimes this happens. You see everyone wants this peaceful relationship but that’s not realistic. People aren’t meant to agree on everything. There will be fights, there will be hurt, there will be mistakes. The couples that make it 50 years don’t do it because there wasn’t anything wrong with their marriage they make it 50 years because they learn to forgive, they learn how to move on. When it’s broke they fix it and carry on.

We’ve done our fair share of hurting each other. He’s made mistakes and so have I. There was a point a couple of years ago that we were nearly done for. He had hurt me in the past and I never got over it so I had this seed of resentment that had been growing for a couple of years. I was fed up with doing everything. I felt used and unappreciated. I tried to tell him this. I would tell him I needed more help around the house but nothing would change. I was working 50+ hours a week and taking care of all the household responsibilities. I’d lost my mother in January of that year and my father had him a girlfriend before the grass grew over my mothers grave. It got me thinking, what’s 44 years of marriage mean if a man can do that. I had asked for marriage counseling in the past and he just laughed it off and said he didn’t have time for that.

So I went down the rabbit hole of deceit and lies. There was someone who had taken an interest in me at work. I opened up to him about all my problems with my husband. He of course, was nothing but supportive and biased for my side. It then got to the point where he’d never treat me like that. I emotionally cheated on my husband for a couple of months. Luckily between my daughter, a full time job and the housework emotionally is as far as it ever got.

When everything came to a head and Michael realized I was being weird about my phone he knew something was up. It took several months to resolve this mess. A couple of nights I spent at my aunts house down the road. Luckily, the man I married picked up The 5 Love Languages instead of heading to the bar. He then took the initiative to find a marriage counselor and made the appointment. This was a pivotal move. I was always the one to have to call and schedule things so for him to step in and take care of it pulled at some heartstrings that I had thought I had long since detached.

We made our appointments and things started getting better we learned how to forgive one another. We also learned how to fight. Fighting fair in a marriage makes all the difference. During this time I was pregnant with our second daughter. Which I know, raises some suspicions about if my cheating was only emotional. I on the other hand know exactly what I have a haven’t done. Michael chose to believe me, to trust me which did mean a lot. I asked repeatedly if he wanted a DNA test just to make sure his mind was at ease. He never wavered on his stance though. We had reached a new chapter in our story. One of trust and love, a part of the book where pride and resentment had fallen by the wayside.

If you want to make it 50 years you most certainly can. You just have to fix what’s broken instead of throwing it out. It’s a longer, harder road but ultimately much more rewarding. Don’t be afraid to admit there is a problem and don’t be too prideful to seek help. It was the best thing that ever happened to our relationship. It got us back on track when Love wasn’t enough anymore. Communication is key but sometimes an unbiased mediator is necessary and that’s where a good counselor makes all the difference. We are happier and better than ever.

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Low Carb Olive Garden Zuppa Toscana soup

This is a yummy and quick recipe that incorporates two of my least favorite vegetables in a way that is savory and delicious.

Ingredients:

1 1⁄2 cups onions (diced)

1⁄2 lb bacon

1 lb sausage (Jimmy Dean hot)

2 quarts water

2 tbs of minced garlic

2 chicken bouillon cubes

1 tsp of salt

1 tsp of pepper

4 cups kale

3 cups of cauliflower (cut in bite size pieces )

1 1⁄2 cups heavy

Fry bacon in a skillet, set aside to cool on a

paper towel. Wipe away or drain all the bacon

grease. Brown sausage in the same skillet, set

aside.

In a large pot add your onion (I use a ninja

chopper to get mine very small). Simmer for a

couple minutes then add your minced garlic (I

used Jars of garlic not the fresh, saves me time).

Simmer for a couple more minutes.

Add water and the bouillon cubes. Add salt and pepper. Chop or tear the bacon into bite sized pieces then add it to the pot. Pour in the sausage and add the cauliflower. Bring to a boil and simmer for 10 minutes.

Add heavy whipping cream and the chopped kale. Cover and simmer for an additional 10 minutes. Enjoy!

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The Midwife Experience

In May of 2016 I found myself in an exciting but stressful situation. My husband and I were expecting our second child. She was unplanned and we didn’t have insurance at the time.

We were in a fairly new place and I had little to no recommendations for OBGYNs in the area. When you google Houston OBGYN you get a plethora of options. After scouring reviews I made an appointment at one of the Kelsey-Seybold Clinics. After paying around $300 for them to confirm that I was indeed pregnant, they clued me in on the cost of their services. I soon realized there was no way I was going to be able to afford their out of pockets costs.

By Gods grace or just sheer luck I’m not sure; but somehow I stumbled upon The Bay Area Birth Center in Pasadena. I noticed they had really great reviews. Then I decided to check out their Facebook… they also had great feedback and reviews.

Now I had a decision to make. Was that the type of birth experience that I would want? I would also have to tour the facility and inquire about how the cost works.

So I called on my lunch break and was pleasantly surprised when the receptionist, Mary picked up on the second ring. I remember thinking wow that’s nice, no answering service just a real live human! I made my appointment to tour the facility and meet with a midwife. It was a Friday evening, my husband, Michael got to come.

We pulled into the parking lot outside of a building that looked clean and welcoming. We entered through the front door to be greeted by a couple of cozy sofas and a children’s play area. Mary came out from her office and welcomed us. Then she gave us some paperwork to fill out. When I was nearing the end of the paperwork Jackie Griggs, CNM came out to meet us. She gave us a brief tour of the facility. She went over the paperwork with us and was very understanding to the fact that we didn’t currently have insurance. She even snuck in a peek of the baby by ultrasound. By the end of our meeting we decided that we definitely could afford it and that I felt safe and that I’d be well taken care of under her care.

Throughout my pregnancy they displayed outstanding service and commitment to me as their patient. One time I was so sick on a Sunday that I called the after hours line. Instead of sending me to urgent care like my previous OB had, she called in a prescription for my husband to pick up, and after taking the medication and following her instructions to sleep, I woke up feeling great. It’s the little things that make all the difference.

When the day finally came for my youngest daughter to be born my contractions started around 11 am. They were steady but far enough apart I knew it’d probably be late evening or during the night before I had her. I called my husband to let him know that he could finish his work day but to let them know he probably wouldn’t be in the following day because the baby was going to come that night. A friend of mine came and picked up my oldest daughter for me around 8 pm. My husband and I left for the birth center around 9 pm and made it there a little before 10pm.

Jackie was there waiting when we got there. She checked me out and confirmed that I was well on my way at 6 cm dilated. Over the next hour or so she and my husband helped me through the discomfort of contractions. Around 11 pm she suggested that I get in the bath to relax a little before labor got more intense. Well that seemed to really speed up the process because I ended up having my daughter at around 12:30 am. It was a completely natural birth and it felt very rewarding. My daughter was an En Caul birth. I have never seen something so amazing. Although I didn’t plan for a water birth I was very happy that it happened that way. To be honest, when they asked me for my birth plan I just said whatever works in the moment… in my experience from my first daughter I learned that babies don’t really care about your plan.

Jackie and her assistant were so supportive and gentle. It is a welcome change from the mainstream birthing experience in America. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that for some, medical intervention is necessary. That’s why cesareans came to be. If you have other factors that make you high risk then that’s understandable but I do feel like women here in the United States have had the wool pulled over our eyes. Everyone from your aunt to your cousins best friend to the popular television series tells you that birth is painful and that it’s horrible. They tell you every birth horror story they can think up. This is toxic. I wish more people knew how calm and natural the birth experience can be. They fill you up with fear and the idea that you need pain medication or a “real doctor”.

In my experience the doctor came in for a brief 10 minutes to catch my first daughter as she was crowning, she helped deliver the placenta, had my husband cut the cord, and gave me a few stitches. Then she was gone. My nurse on the other hand, worked her butt off taking care of me. I was lucky. With my first daughter I had a great nurse but with the traditional birth route what nurse you get is the luck of the draw. They aren’t always as great as the one I had.

With the midwife experience you know what you’re getting and what you’re paying for. You have freedom to move and to choose. You have the option to snack lightly… to drink water and stay fueled throughout your birth instead of eating a couple of ice chips. I’ll leave the research to you but I implore you to look up the maternal and infant mortality rates in the U.S. versus other countries. I suggest you look into the cesarean rates of your hospitals and OBGYNs. The averages are remarkably high to write off as medically necessary.

I know that for me, choosing a midwife was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. The care and understanding is truly phenomenal. It’s a one of a kind experience that I recommend to anyone who is expecting or planning for a baby.